Death and Old Age

This entry is more personal then academic, but I certainly feel it is relevant to my researching of old age. Since this is more of a personal journal for myself and my professor I feel this is appropriate and necessary.

Two nights ago my Granny's best friend, whom I have known since I was a baby and my family for over 50 years, passed away. She fell in the night and broke her femur a week prior and was forced to go into hospital. She had surgery to reset the bone. At her age, 89 (to be 90 this year), it was a tremendously stressful operation and she did not end up pulling through. I understand that she lived a long and fruitful life and that she went with little pain. Dying is a part of life. From my research and interviews thus far I understand that often as one gets older death becomes more tangible and less terrifying. I suppose this is not true for some, but it is true for those over 80 I have spoken to thus far. This post isn't necessarily concerned with death, rather with the fallout when a loved one dies.

My granny's friend's husband, you see, has been left behind. He is older, 91 I believe, and suffers from dementia. I went with my granny to see him yesterday and he was, understandably overcome with grief. He sat in his chair, which he rarely leaves these days, and cried. He and his wife were lifelong partners. They had known one another since they were children and had been married for what I suppose bordered on 70 years.

I wasn't really able to speak as I listened to my granny speak with Albert (whose name I have changed). He was completely disoriented and tired and shattered. It really made me think about what it means, and can mean, to grow old. It also made me think about how our society treats old people. I won't say that Albert is treated unkindly, but I will say that many people I have seen interacting with him do not take him seriously because of his disabilities and age. I find this to be appalling. Ageism is a massive problem here in the UK, and I hope that by doing this documentary project I can shed some light on what it means to grow old here.

I wish the best for Albert. I will obviously not be interviewing him due to his handicaps, but I am glad I am able to write about this situation, and my thoughts surrounding it, herein.